Disgusting! Hygiene Horror Stories From The Gym

Gyms are germ factories, full stop. It wouldn't surprise me if the Department of Defense is using these places for the research and development of biological weaponry. Sure, we've all got that cute giggle
-fest story of the time cute Sally Ponytail cut one on the treadmill next to us, but that's child's play. Airborne poo-ticulates scatter in the wind when compared with these stories of public gym hygiene scraped from
the web like a culture from a Petri dish.

Today's Workout? Chests, Abs and (chicken) Thighs

We all need to eat. Especially if we're hitting the gym regularly. We  need to get that extra kick of energy through carbs or protein or whatever Oprah tells us this week. It's not entirely uncommon or 
unacceptable for gym-goers to bring an energy bar, or a supplement shake in a water bottle. Another consideration is trying to fit our workout into our busy day. I've heard of a lot of ways of making this happen, but when an athlete at the University of Maryland reports seeing a guy pulling Cluck U chicken legs out of a bucket between sets on the squat bench, I have to wonder where he's wiping the grease off of his hands.

A Runny Nose

A guy decides to go to the gym in spite of his cold, but sticks to cardio so he doesn't get his sweat all over the equipment.  He's even considerate enough to pick the treadmill furthest away from everyone else
in the line so he doesn't cough on anyone else. He's so thoughtful that he's brought his own water bottle so he's not sharing germs at the fountain. But every time he has a sniffle or a sneeze he blows his nose 
in the Gym-provided towel, then leaves it hanging on the Treadmill handlebars for the next unsuspecting runner to touch and contract whatever version of Swine Flu he's cooking up.

The Foul Mouth

Brush your teeth. Seriously. We all share the same recycled air in these gyms, and I'm not paying a usurious monthly fee just so I can suck down your unscrubbed, double-pump halitosis and Latte exhale-crement from two exercise bikes over. Please, I know it's early, but brushing your teeth 
is one step you are not allowed to skip in the morning on the way to the gym.

Shower and a Shave

Speaking of early morning routines, let's talk about shaving. I can only imagine how this could go wrong in the women’s locker room, considering how bad it gets in the men’s. Gents, you're not at home. You have no 
reason to stand nude at the sink while shaving your face. We are not impressed with your piece rubbing up against the counter where we are about to brush our teeth. Oh, and one other thing about shaving, rinse 
out the sink when you're done. Thanks.

Next Time, Drip Dry

This one is just too weird to be made up. In Iowa a regular at one of the YMCA's reported coming in to the gym every morning at 6:45 a.m. to find a 60 year old man drying off after his shower. Not normally a problem, except for it was with one leg stretched out across the sink counter top, and his business bits were getting the hot-blow dry from the hand dryer. I can't even count the hygiene and etiquette infractions with this one.

You Think It's Bad at Home?

An English teacher in South Korea, after a month or two of getting adjusted, finally finds a gym she feels comfortable at. As she's running on the treadmill, she notices something sitting on the water fountain. 
Three something’s, to be exact. When she finishes her run, she decides to get a drink. As she gets closer she realizes what's on the fountain: three uncooked chicken breasts. Dumbfounded, she goes to the manager of the gym and asks if it's chicken or fish. "Chicken" he responds unfazed.

The Lesson?

Working out is filthy. If the sweat, snot, bad breath, or old-man nudity don't get you sick, apparently chicken will. 
 

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